ऐसा भी होता है...

एक दिन कॉलेज के ऑडिटोरियम के सामने वाले डायस पे मैं, मेरे रूममेट संजीव, राजीव, और दो दोस्तों, प्रियदर्शी और राहुल शर्मा, ने बैठक लगाई. ऐसा होता है लाइफ में, की बकवास करने का और समझने का कोई तात्पर्य नहीं होता है. पर बकवास करनी होती है. हर कॉलेज में एक जमावड़ा केंद्र होता है. वो बदलता रहता है, आवश्यक्तानुसार. कभी IT Park की सीढियां, कभी ऑडिटोरियम के सामने वाला डायस. हमारे 3100 लोगो को बिठाने की औकात रखने वाले ऑडिटोरियम के सामने तब एक मैदान था. वहाँ Bombay Rockers और श्रेया घोषाल जैसे कलाकार आके हमारे विश्वविद्यालय के (तब) 50,000 विद्यार्थियों का मनोरंजन करने के लिए आया करते थे. उनकी फूटी किस्मत होती थी, जो वे यहाँ थे. वे आते थे हमारा मनोरंजन करने पर हमारे यहाँ कलाकारों की कद्र कुछ ख़ास थी नहीं. मंच तक लोगो का प्रोत्साहन पहुचे न पहुचे उनके पत्थर ज़रूर पहुचते थे. श्रेया घोषाल ने तो ये तक कहा था, “guys, when I said we’ll ‘Rock The Show,’ I didn’t expect you guys will literally do it.” ख़ैर, मैदान में दो मंच थे. एक ऑडिटोरियम के ठीक सामने, मैदान के बीचों बीच था, एक बिलकुल दूर कोने में था. वहाँ से मेडिकल कॉलेज शुरू हो जाता था, और इंजीनियरिंग के कैंपस की कहानी उस द्वार परे पूरी हो जाती थी.

मैं उस समय की बात कर रहा हूँ जब सिर्फ कोने वाला मंच था. मैदान के बीच वाला मंच तब नहीं बना था. उस डायस पर रैंकिंग के लिए एक लकड़ी का प्लेटफार्म था. जिसपे खड़े होकर स्वर्ण, चन्द्र, और कांस्य पदक (Gold, Silver, and Bronze medals) बांटे जाते थे. शाम काफी हो गयी थी, और अगर मैं गलत नहीं हूँ तो रात के आठ, साढ़े आठ कुछ बज रहे होंगे. तो अँधेरा था काफी, उस वक़्त.  मैं उन चार और कुत्तों से फर्जी की बातें कर रहा था. ऐसे दिनों में सिवाए एक दुसरे का मज़ाक उड़ाने और जीवन में नारी भाग्य न होने के अलावा कुछ ख़ास बातें नहीं थी. वैसे मुझे ऐसा दुखड़ा गाने की ज़रुरत नहीं है. तब जादा बातें होती थी करने के लिए. अब तो career का रोना गाना रह गया है. जब शादी होगी तो परिवार का रोना गाना रह जाएगा. कॉलेज में तो रोने की वजह भी बहुत थी, अब तो सिर्फ परिवार और नौकरी है.

तो उस रात को मेरे मन में एक अजीब सा सवाल उठा. “यार, ये फ़ोन पे लौंडियाबाजी कैसे होती है?” मेरा सवाल सुनके मुझे judge मत करिए. मेरी ये आज तक समझ ही नहीं आया की बिना किसी connection के, या बिना physical presence के आप किसी लड़की को कैसे पटा सकते हैं. और उस दिन मुझे ये भरोसा हो गया की कोई दूसरा करे या न करे, मुझसे न हो पाएगा. जब मेरे बैच के चंपुओं ने अच्छी खासी बंदियां पटाई, तो मैंने सिर्फ, और सिर्फ, out of curiosity पुछा. अगर आपको इस बात का कोई संदेह है की मैं desperate था तो कोई संदेह मत रखिये. मैं स्पष्ट रूप से कहता हूँ मैं अनंत काल से desperate हूँ.

तो मेरे दोस्तों, प्रियदर्शी श्रीवास्तव और राहुल शर्मा, ने बारी बारी जय गुरुदेव के कैंप वाली लड़कियों को फ़ोन किया, और फ़ोन करने के दस सेकंड के अन्दर अन्दर दूसरी तरफ से आवाज़ आई जय गुरुदेव. जब जय गुरुदेव का जुगाड़ ही fit करना था तो मैं अपनी किसी classmate को ही कॉल न कर लेता? मेरा doubt stalker perspective से था. और ऐसा भी क्या stalker, कॉलेज में कॉलेज के link के सहारे एक से एक भोंपू बजे दुनिया की अनजान आशिकी के. मैं तो शरीफ घर का सीधा सादा लौंडा था. दिक्कत यही थी की नासमझ था. जब ज़माने के धक्के और धोखे देखे, दोस्तियाँ टूटते देखीं और बदलते इंसान देखे तो समझ आया हमारा प्यार सिर्फ हमारे hormone  का output था. आज अगर मैं उसी डायस पे खड़ा होता तो किसी और लड़की को फ़ोन लगता, पर उस वक़्त, जैसा मैंने कहा की हमारी आशिकी hormonal trigger से जादा कुछ नहीं थी. तो मैंने श्रुतिका मेहता को फ़ोन लगाया.

***

श्रुतिका मेहता हमारे कॉलेज की जानी मानी माल थी. माल यानि कमसिन हसीना, टोटा, sexy lady, pretty woman इत्यादि. अच्छे अच्छे लौंडों ने केवल उसकी झप्पी के चक्कर में ऐसी ऐसी धक्कियाँ खाई थी, की अगर धक्का लगने के बाद कोई उन ढाचों को फूँक मार दे तो संसार के कणों में सम्मिलित होती हुई आत्माएं नज़र आनी शुरू हो जाएंगी. उस लड़की के चक्कर में बड़े बड़े पेहेल्वानों ने हाथापाई का जरिया अपनाया. कुछ सफल हुए, कुछ धराशाई, मगर असली सफलता किसी एक को मिली वो कॉलेज से ग्रेजुएट हमसे पहले हो गया. दूर दराती हवाओं से उडती खबरें मिली थी हमे श्रुतिका मेहता single है. जवानी के लम्हे कहो, खुशिओं के दिन कहो, या unquenchable desperation. मैं सच कहता हूँ, हरेक धड़कन मेरी भांगड़ा पेल पे उतर आई थी, उस दिन.

मैंने अपने जीवन में उस लड़की को सिर्फ तीन फूट की दूरी से देखा था, किसी दोस्त बात करते हुए. प्रियदर्शी श्रीवास्तव उन में से एक थे. तो उनके पास, ज़ाहिर सी बात है, उसका फ़ोन नंबर भी था. अब मैं असमंजस में था. क्यूंकि अपनी औकात तो थी नहीं. न ही अपना character था. मैंने आजतक किसी random लड़के से बात न की होगी फ़ोन करके ये तो अपने कॉलेज की मिस वर्ल्ड से कम न थी. वो बात अलग है अब मैं कभी कभी सफ़र बांटने वाले सैलानियो से चार कहानिया चुरा लेता हूँ, या चंद किस्से सुना देता हूँ. पर वो भी बहुत कम होता है, और कभी कभी. और अब मैं इस दुर्घटना को चार साल पीछे छोड़ भी आया हूँ. तब मैं जवान था, समझ कम थी जोश जादा था. मौका लगे हाथ चौका लगा दूँ सोचा.

पर फिर भी मैं असमंजस में था. अगर इंसान की पकड़ उडती पतंग की ऊंचाई सी नपती, तो मैं इस ब्रह्मांड के कोने तक पहुँचने वाली रौशनी की कसम खा के कहता हूँ ये लड़की मेरे मंझे की पहुँच से परे थी.  और मैं इसे जानता भी नहीं था. अभी भी नहीं जानता हूँ. अन्दर से अकल की आवाज़ कह रही थी, “साले, आईने में तेरी परछाइयां माथा पकड़ लेती हैं तेरी शकल देख के, बिना मतलब जेम्स बांड मत बन.” पर अकल की सुने या जज़्बात की, जो इंसान ये समझ ले तो इतिहास में जंग और संग्राम सिर्फ dictionary में पाए जाते. पर ऐसा कभी होता थोड़ी है. तो हमने जज्बातों की सुनी, और कूद गए नरक में.

***

मैंने प्रियदर्शी को बोला, “यार, अगर फ़ोन लगाना ही है, तो किसी ऐसी लड़की को लगाया जाए जो जानती ही न हो, बिलकूल. ऐसा ही होता है न?”

“किसको फ़ोन लगाएगा तू?”

“श्रुतिका मेहता को.”

ये सुनते ही राहुल शर्मा की मुह में बम फटा. और चिल्लाया, “अबे लगाने दे. आज तो हो जाए भैंचो. ए हे हे, हेहेहेहे.”

प्रियदर्शी श्रीवास्तव थोड़े skeptical थे मगर उन्होंने अपने फ़ोन की लिस्ट में नंबर ढूँढा, और मुझे दे दिया.

वो राहुल शर्मा हंसी मैं नहीं भूलूंगा. साला लोट पोटइयाता शर्मा अचानक से मजे मूड में आ गया. उस कुत्ते की आँखों में कमीनापन reflect हो रहा था. उसे मालूम था आज दिवाली है और मैं इस दिवाली का सबसे बड़ा पटाखा. उसे लग रहा था मैं ऐसा फटने वाला हूँ की आसमान में तारे दिखने बंद हो जाएँगे.  और बस, जैसे तीसरी के लौंडे पहली दिवाली का राकेट छुड़ाते हैं, वैसे इन्होने मुझे छुड़ा दिया. और फ़ोन नंबर दे दिया.

***

पूरे confidence के साथ मैंने अपने फटीचर फ़ोन में मौतरमा का नंबर मिलाया. प्रियदर्शी दोस्ती निभा रहा था, उसने मुझसे कहा था की तू short film के बारे में बात करना, बेकार की बात करेगा तो कोई बात बढ़ा वढा नहीं पाएगा. मगर हम तो जेम्स बांड मोड में थे. हमने फ़ोन लगाया, उसने फ़ोन उठाया, और हमने कहा “Hi, I am Max.”

जितनी इस जीवन में हिम्मत हमने बटोरी थी दूसरो के साथ रह रह कर, hostel में सबसे लड़ के, झगड़ के, कोशिश करके हमने अपने आप को इस लायक तीन साल कॉलेज में बिता के बनाया की किसी नकाब के पीछे खुद को छिपाना न पड़े. किसी भी दोस्त से पूछ लो, कोई कहेगा मैं बेवक़ूफ़ हूँ, कोई कहेगा मैं नासमझ हूँ, कोई कहेगा मैं सनकी हूँ. पर मैं जानता हूँ कोई दोस्त मेरा ये नहीं कह सकता की मैं कोई मुखौटा लगाए रखता हूँ. मैंने खुद को पूरी कोशिश करके इस एक मुकाम पे पहुँचाया, अपना अस्तित्व बनाया की कम से कम अपने दोस्तों के आगे कोई दूसरा इंसान न दिखाई दे. और शर्मिंदगी का उदाहरण हमसे लो. जिससे दोस्ती करने की उम्मीद से ये तमाशा शुरू किया, उसको शुरुआत में ही एक फर्जी नाम दिया. बिलकुल शुरुआत में. तो अब तो आपको पता ही है क्या होने वाला है. हम तो दिवाली के पटाखे थे. फट गए. सामने शर्मा कूद रहा था, दौड़ रहा था, लफंटरों की तरह. संजीव, राजीव ने हसना शुरू कर दिया था, प्रियदर्शी बोल रहा था, “अबे, movie, movie!”

पर होनी को कौन टोके... “Hi, I am Max… Uh, actually, that’s not my real name… Uh, actually, can we be friends? Uh, basically, I… uh, I wanted…to actually, socialize… Actually, I uh, actually.”

वो बेचारी, सोच रही होगी कहाँ कहाँ से पैदा होते हैं नमूने ऐसे, रोज़ कोई न कोई टकरा जाता है, “Do you have another word in your vocabulary, other than ‘actually’?”

सच्चाई का सामना नर को एक नारी ही करा सकती है. सम्पूर्ण दुनिया में सर्वश्रेष्ठ सद्भावना अगर किसी इंसान को प्राप्त करनी हो, तो उसे स्त्री की समझदारी और सहानुभूति का सम्मान करना चाहिए. यहाँ पर उसने बड़ी सरलता से मुझे ये याद दिलाया की मैं flop हो गया हूँ. मुझे माफ़ी मांग लेनी चाहिए और चुप चाप खिसक लेना चाहिए. ऐसे में मैंने अपना ‘actually, actually’ का भजन लगाए रखा और उसने मेरा फ़ोन मेरी already tormented आत्मा को समझते हुए काट दिया. Moral responsibility के नाते मैंने उसे apologize करने के लिए दुबारा फ़ोन लगाया, माफ़ी मांगी, उसने मुझे कहा उसे नए दोस्तों की ज़रुरत नहीं है, और फ़ोन काट दिया.

***

टी.वी. पे Red Bull gives you wings के विज्ञापन की तरह मैं ज़मीन पे खड़े खड़े गोते खा रहा था. मेरा ब्लड प्रेशर कार्टून में दिखाए जाने वाले हथोडा गिराओ घंटा बजाओ वाले घंटे के striker की तरह आसमान में shoot कर गया था, ऑडिटोरियम के ऊपर का आसमान तूफानी कड़कती पुरानी हिंदी फिल्मों वाली बिजली की तरह घड़ घड़ा रहा था. मुझे चक्कर आ रहा था, जब मैंने महसूस किया प्रियदर्शी और शर्मा डायस पे ranking platform के पीछे मुर्गे की तरह अपने आप को किसी कहर से बचाने की कोशिश कर रहे थे.  अंग्रेजी में कहा जाए तो, ‘they were ducking behind the ranking platform.’ अचानक से प्रियदर्शी और शर्मा को ये समझ आया की मुझे उनकी आवाजें कुछ सुनाई शायद नहीं दे रहीं हैं. वो दोनों उठे और उन्होंने मुझे संभाला, और थोडा शांत किया. मैंने अपनी दुर्दशा भाँपी और महसूस किया मेरी हड्डियां तक काँप गयी थी.

आज जब उन यादों की गलियों पे दुबारा चार कदम रखे तो दोस्तों ने ऐसा ही एक दूसरा हादसा, इस हादसे के बहुत, बहुत दिनों पहले का याद दिलाया. वो इतना traumatic नहीं था, पर हड्डियाँ मेरी उस में भी काँप गयी थी. वो कहानी किसी और दिन के लिए. पर इस हादसे ने मुझे हमेशा के लिए थोडा disabled छोड़ा. मैं अपनी बेवकूफी justify नहीं करूँगा. इसे सीधे शब्दों में कहा जाए तो, ये stalking ही है. और वही मैं सोच रहा था उसके बाद, की अगर कुछ बवाल हो गया तो? इसने अपने माँ-बाप को बताया तो? कुछ नया लफड़ा न हो जाए कहीं. तरह तरह की बातें दिमाग में आई. और दोस्तों ने कहा ये उसका रोज़ का ही है. कोई न कोई नमूना chance पे dance का रोज़ try करता है. कोई बात नहीं.

उस दिन कसम खाई, की फ़ोन पे ये सब तमाशा करना बेकार है. कुदरत ने साथ बनाया तो साँसे किसी और, किसी बेहतर बगिया में लिखी होंगी. जहां धडकनों किए लिए दवाई न लेनी पड़े शायद. पर हाँ, और चाहे कुछ भी हो, कभी कभी मंझे की उपलब्धि से परे, थोड़ी और ऊँची पतंग उडानी चाहिए. क्या पता डोर उम्मीद से लम्बी निकले. बस आसमान साफ़ रहे तो बेहतर.

True Story.

The Hands that build India

This title, is a modified line of a song “The Hands that built America” taken from the soundtrack of the film “Gangs of New York” which plays during the end credits that start rolling right after a violent battle between gangsters for dignity and satisfactory survival concludes. The staggering irony is, it is shown in the movie that America which developed into a nation of Empire States and WTCs, as the movie’s tagline suggests, was born on streets. India and America are two different countries, they faced different problems and their needs and dreams and requirements are different, but what continues to be a common truth, for any country let alone India or America, is that any country for its development needs men who would fight for their existence, because like any creature who can feel, its existence matters.
Around 5 lakh engineers were produced in India in 2011, out of them only 17.45% are employable. With more than 113 universities and over 2100 colleges, this is a generation of confounded, angst ridden youngsters, who are afraid to run away from their houses, invent a job for themselves, and then return with success written on their Ts.

Or they just accept the shortcut, buy a degree, find a job and then forget about life. Life that doesn’t really exist, but since there is a bed to sleep, a fancy shirt to wear and someone to talk to, it doesn’t make a lot of difference. Every year, since the day I joined an engineering college, there is a youngster, calling me, asking me, which engineering course he/she should choose and I ask him/her why, you want to join engineering, they tell me, because they can find a job easily.
Why is it that merely finding a job is the last resort. Inside an office in front of a computer someone may/may not do anything that he/she might really enjoy doing, but because they’ll earn money, rather easily so they are ready to do anything. And to be precise I am a part of that youth, and us lazy generation don’t think.

In meetings people literally argue, how much they struggled and they are just not happy about it, and I don’t understand in case someone really loves about whatever he/she is doing why would someone not be happy about his struggle. The point is nothing really matters in terms of growth and development, all that matters is pay scale, people who can be afraid of us, someone outside may get attracted to the enigma that one can create and for that our generation is ready to sell our souls.
Or perhaps, it was hard coded in our system? Just to breathe through our lives we accept slavery, maybe because to show off a seal we do it, and we ignore that we are not really contributing towards better living standards. People here sit inside offices late, because we are afraid that this, whatever we have, if it is lost then it is a done deal and there is no way out. Or maybe because we know that there is nothing else that we can do.
And we are the hands who build India, who are plain clueless, afraid of severities which are hypothetical. And because we are lazy, we don’t want to try, not anymore. If something falls our way, we’d grab it, be it job or life. We wait for something to happen and nothing really happens and we just move on, after a point all of us are frustrated, angry, disappointed. And we still carry on, we don’t have anything fruitful to talk about, so we talk about people around us. We find entertainment in troubling others around us, to see someone troublesome in trouble gives us a cheap thrill, and we don’t realize that it is just sad.
And then people talk about social improvement, charity, issues that are impactful globally, but what about the issues impacting us? Every act of brutality is an after effect of prolonged sadness, because it is after all an extremely passionate move, of some one really passionate about something, unfortunately his passion got directed in wrong direction.

And because we just gave up, we no longer wish to fight for ourselves, we are still not free and though Englishmen have left, we have not left our mentality of being a slave, somewhere at some stage of time, we have been afraid to complain, afraid to stand up for ourselves because we are just dependent, we were dependent and perhaps will be for the rest of our lives and don’t want to lose those who feed our dependence. Because, may be have this inherited and because may be we will pass it on to the future, and like we are hearing for last 10 years, we will become a super power in next 10 years, we will keep hearing it for the rest of our lifetimes, and I blame no one else for such a situation but myself, because I didn’t put up a fight with reality, where somewhere in between I lost my search for truth and accepted whatever crossed my way, stopped fighting for something that would add meaning to my existence and I will, forever be guilty, for contributing my hands towards building a flawed India.  

Chaos

In this universe seemingly populated by people, all you can find is noise, pollution, haphazard movements, aimless motivations, unknown intentions, speeches that make no sense, tasks that can never be fulfilled because most of us are just not happy doing it. Being an Indian comes with a burden, a burden of expectations. This many times distracts the actual intention of someone, what he could do with his life? Many times it so feels that dreams, where one is successful are the reality and the reality where one is a failure is a nightmare. All that someone could hope is like any other nightmare this one too, would end soon. Perhaps, sooner if one could be strong enough to take decisions. 

Discussion with one of my roommates made me realize how much damage Englishmen have done to us. They have fed us and our minds to be a slave, earlier we were to them now we are to the expectations of anyone who is above us. We no longer take decisions for ourselves, and we are plain coward to be one who does. Nobody takes decisions now, at-least not as soon as protection layers are beyond the question. After a period of time, we simply accept this simple life, where all we can do is complain. Our minds become nothing more than a trash box where we can’t think beyond, we can’t think out of the box. 

And because we can’t think we do without a thought, we talk without a thought, we do not tend to improve and we become rigid according to the reality. Reality with an adverse effect on us makes us someone not ready to accept, not ready to discard and we all collide with each other, we fight unnecessarily and all that remains is chaos, being a part of which we reach nowhere, whole lifetimes are spent in that chaos and there are moments of happiness amongst spans of sadness, while life was meant to be other way round. 

Truth would never become reality, we will accept, wear, show whatever we fancy and in the end amongst a bunch of fools we try to be the one who is coolest. How lonely we are, we can’t sit and talk to ourselves, we need someone, always who would remind us of our greatness, who would tell us that we are the ones who could bring about a change. And I ask why? Have we nothing better to do? Can’t we even feel that we are breathing, we are being alive? In this frenzy we will possibly never ever realize that. All our efforts, lifetimes are spent, not in improving anything sensible but profit, financial status and anything showy, and all we can do is complain, we just don’t improve neither do we intend to, being an Indian, such a lazy race we are, and I blame none, because this chaos, we inherit and it will take a lot of time for us to bring order to it.

Intolerable

Such a strange phenomenon this is, that we live in a society to be surrounded, hoping to be at the center of everything and we simply fail to do so. After a certain point of time, it becomes simply impossible to adjust and even the best of the people become intolerable. After all you are just bored of them paying attention to you and they are bored of you paying attention to them. After a point of time it is just, you can say, listen to me because I am smart and I don’t want to listen to you, you boring brat. 

That is an error when people call in for a social structure. There is no social structure, it is a bunch of attention seeking losers, who come together and amongst them they intend to prove their stardom and if there is someone who can raise that spirit of human nature, then it turns out to be the bond of friendship. There is no bond of friendship that exists as such. It is the selfish gain and, sort of, proof of existence for which people look out for. Or else, precisely speaking, there is specifically no need for anyone else to be there.

And that is beginning of the inheritance of loss. After a point of time, one realizes, that people around cannot pay attention to him, and hence it is useless to be with him or her. He is hurt, and hence, in order to achieve pleasure and that is a sad thing to do, he hurts others. Thus the society begins to fall, everyone intends to irritate others, and take pleasure in doing so, and because someone’s gain made him the center of attraction it becomes difficult for others to digest the fact that someone else is more successful, or rather happy.

In that jealous filled subconscious lies the poison that kills the humanity and that’s where I tend to come in and see the disaster unfold itself. It is quiet easily observable that every space, whether it is work or personal, people tend to progress because of this, delaying work and throwing responsibilities on someone else's shoulders and ultimately blaming each other for irresponsibility.
Or is it the outcome of the sum total of the sadness in our lives, because most of us do not know what we have to do really? Or is it because we grew up seeing such huge amount of sadness that we simply tend to accept it as a part of our own proud heredity? In any of the cases, we have a laughable thought process, overtly violent, excruciatingly sad and overwhelmingly silly. How clueless we are that we just don’t intend to, improve anything. Not even our sensibility.

All our needs and desires have come about on the mentality of showing off. Irrespective of how preachy someone can be, it is an ultimate reality that every action is executed in such a manner that people notice and doers do not die unnoticed.

For whatever reason, we must understand that most of us have grown up into monsters who simply take pleasure in eating up the people around, not realizing that there will be no one to pay attention to them for which they have grown up to such massive scales in such an ugly fashion. For the rest, perhaps we all would continue to be intolerable.

Defining incompetency

Almost 10 months, I have been here (in HCL), and I see people coming to the office, working and leaving. They have been disappointed, happy, angry, satisfied sentimental etc. What I never understand is, how come people so easily put a label whether someone can work in a particular project or not.

When I was in class 10^th in 2005 I had a teacher who told me the question paper pattern, there were 2 markers, 4 markers and 6 markers in my mathematics exam. While 2 markers summed up to 20 marks, 6 markers totaled to 30 marks while the rest 40 marks could be obtained by 4 markers. Needless to say marking of a question was done on the basis of difficulty levels and hence maximum part of the question paper was consumed by the 4 markers. Or, the question paper was designed to attain an average difficulty level. Simply speaking, it targeted an average student.

That chunk of average students went on to become employees in different places and they grow up into mighty professionals, as all of us call it. How does an average student become competent or is defined competent is an issue and I am concerned. Because being jobbed is stepping inside a chaos, cluelessness an utter mess of ideas where people speak just to show that they are working but at the core level all those plans are just hogwash, and ultimately tasks are executed on a hit and trial level, not that I am complaining, ideas are outputs of mistakes.

A bunch of kids, step out of their schools enter the market with boards saying, engineers, graduates, mathematicians, scientists needed. While very few are very sure of what they want, and they have always been a creamy layer wherever they go, an average student is one who sees those 60 marks in that examination where he can just avoid a fail grade and if possible, distinction. He doesn’t care whether he is growing or learning that subject because he, as an average student, is plain clueless and is studying and learning for the heck of it.

Once a kid finds a job and is unable to relocate the direction where he can work sincerely, he is accepted on his qualification which is as misleading as his cluelessness. But he accepts it, for the sheer thought of having an opportunity that promises something, sometimes the whole experience of being a professional. But there the biggest problem begins, in that frenzy offers are not accepted, but instructed. Instructions are followed, deadlines are met. But what cannot be achieved is dedicated participation. A normal guy, in his cluelessness, would simply say yes as he has always done, first in front of parents, then teachers, then bosses. In such a fascist system, the whole point of choice is lost. All that remains is finding a way out. How far, is a different problem altogether.

If passing an aptitude test, and joining and clearing an engineering course is sufficient to satisfy a criteria for doing a job then how one can say that person ‘x’ is incapable of doing something? In case he is capable, and he is reluctant in doing it, then how does the organization drive his/her interest in doing it? If the organization feels, that it has checked and all the formalities have been done, still someone is not productive, and then is it always wrong on the employees end? Is everything perfect there?
So all we have is people, a whole lot of them who are clueless, capable, uninterested, imperfect, desiring, lazy, angst ridden, ambitious etc, etc and etc. Now you put them inside an office, and they are capable, you mould them or force them, either they do it anyway, irrespective of it being right/wrong/poorly/brilliantly, or, they don’t, at all. But does that mean they are incapable? Do they deserve de-motivation? Can someone put a label on someone that this guy cannot do a job and throw him out? Because that label of so called incompetency he/she carries, affects a lifetime. Because someone is not interested in doing what you offer doesn’t make him/her incompetent and the one who issues such an instruction, and that is done after events of humiliation, is, in my book, one with lack of regard and empathy and such an action is perhaps least humanistic measure taken. Perhaps, the one doing wrong should be motivated enough to discover what is right for him/her and inspired appropriately and fueled with sufficient confidence that he/she steps out on his/her own and that will be right, both for the organization and the employee. Perhaps then evolution shall begin or else it is possible that running inside a mess, objectives are, resources are, productivity is and, what fears me most, hope is lost.

Because that would be a catastrophe of the highest sort, an unbearable one, one that cannot be corrected. And anyone who can see, hear, breathe or most importantly feel is not incompetent, because someone is not interested in doing what one has to offer, but is doing because of several uncountable constraints and is forced to do so, and is then blamed for incompetence doesn’t make him/her one and no one can call someone inside a meeting room and de-motivate, because that, I can guarantee, will only and exclusively reduce productivity and garner losses.

What is your Worth?

The difference lies in perception. For an ordinary human being, who cannot understand extraordinary work of art, for example, a surrealist drawing that could be worthless. For an extraordinary artist who draws emotions on a portrait an ordinary man’s folly would be worth millions as he would draw them. The question lies in what is, not in who does or how. A standup comedian, putting forth all his anguish and disgust against himself, is worth lots for his producer, but nothing for himself.

Human being is severely conflicted. In hunt for true delight and emotions, and support and, so called, love he might be truly empathizing in terms of great human beings but brutal otherwise. Those who could build value for themselves that value remained a sum total of that provided by outsiders and those who thought are valued by outsiders are mocked by them.

It is so strange that everything is so flip sided, continuously crafting out scenarios for making oneself king of their own selves is done for others to see, and those who are made the kings continue to restrict themselves within the walls of gold and glasses because of an unending angst of being succumbed to the burden of being one.

Perhaps, the greatness and its currency are defined complimentarily by what people give in and by what one pay himself. Everyone is exclusive for others to be curious and inclusive for others to see what he shows off.
Sentiments, quite often make the most complex scenarios simple. A lonely guy sitting on a bench on a bus stop in a rainy evening might be waiting for a bus, or maybe he is reluctant to return to his place. That inherent generation of mystery for those surrounding him, will for generating sympathy and value, of being noticed and staying so, is perhaps an aftermath of being a human.

Whole lives are spent in calculating, building, raising it, of exhaustion and loneliness. This is probably meant to happen. After a while all that continues to exist is a photograph and nothing else, and all of us our worth that photograph, whether it is drawn or filmed and nothing more. Till then this unending process of being and making important will continue, probably in that process, we lost all of our own, we stopped considering that more than anyone, our existence matters most to us and in that simplistic materialistic frenzy it is quite possible that our reality allowed disparaging treatment to ourselves, and asking this question again and again and again, “What is your worth?”

Trying to make sense, Simply!

Sometimes I am simply full of words. After all I am an Indian, trying to make sense, like any other youngster expecting likes on his blog post, statuses and attracting wholesome amount of attention. Students of psychology may call it mania, I rather stay to it. After all so little sources of relief are there actually.

Trying to make sense is another form of creativity, but not always it works. The furious blabber of a beaten kid may make sense in his own defensive format or may be the most formatted speeches may make little sense. Wordplay is an art, which writers, from legendary Shakespeare to someone as clueless as I am, intend to achieve, but ultimately goof up trying to make a statement, a commentary on may be something that might be pinching us somewhere in our subconscious.

The whole problem lies in the programming, we are fond of the Father of our Nation because of what we know, yet the cruel reality might be terribly different, after all most of us are ignorant of the politics. Still we have an opinion, on everything, bird’s eye view they say it. And perhaps from politics to love to life, we have an opinion and so we speak. Simply to show everyone probably that we are sensible, we know a lot and thus we have so much to speak, so much to prove that whatever is discussed it does makes sense yet so little to make sense really.

This, probably, has made its way in our normal conversations. Perhaps that’s why we know when someone says “Hi, what’s up?” he is being rhetorical. Hellos and His, and greetings are so simply, a formality, just a way of telling someone, “Dude, I know who are you and I hold some importance for that”.

We probably continuously talk, simply to push in our importance. We want people to know that we are noticeable. Going on without getting noticed is probably the worst to happen. Perhaps that’s why as we grow old we have too many stories to speak of, of being important at a point of time, and hence we are afraid of that situation, and we know it, it is inevitable. This is hence a dichotomy.

In an unfunny manner someone else is told that someone had loads of fun doing something, even if by chance he/she didn’t, because everything is relative. Someone is no longer happy because someone has achieved something that he desired, but because he/she is happier than someone else, when compared, and that is said, never felt. Or rather forcefully felt, or whatever.

But ultimately, everything, that said, written or communicated, exaggerated or subtle, really makes little sense. We stand here, and then we reach somewhere and nothing truly happens, unless it is a disaster. Because nothing truly happens, we try to convince us that stories are true, ours is one that does exist and it must be gossiped about. Pleasure an outcome of relativity, and at the core of it, we are not really happy. It’s just that we fake it, and keep moving forward, thinking, it’s done, and we are guilty of it. We live in such contrived societies built upon this, because I have a longer car that people may see and admire, and hence talk about it and thus I will be pleased, coiled mentality. And that happens inside, and we don’t really know about it.
Therefore, too much to speak, too little to feel and far too little to make sense. Hence all that is written above is just a part of that mania, expecting likes and appreciation and criticism (that is just another formality to write), hoping that did make sense and got noticed. Or all that simply dwelled in too much romanticism?

The greatest invention of our time, “The CP Technology”

“Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity”- Bo Bennett

The above written quote was Googled, copied and pasted. Period

Ideas are copied, actions are copied, even mistakes are, but those are more visceral actions. Not conscious ones, as a kid in 3^rd class might buy a pair of aviator styled sunglasses, wear Lee Cooper maroon coloured shirt and go out, walk with style spitting chewing gum on his left and smirk while lowering his sunglasses and wink at the round faced girls in his class who might lend him their butterfly themed and florescent coloured neatly covered notebooks and become the centre of attention and gossip, and generate envious classmates in the tuition at 5 in the evening. The next day all dude classmates end up doing it, fighting with their mums to get those sunglasses.

But that was more emotional method and copying something really trendy and stylish was never a stupid thing to do. Awkward, may be, wrong, never, as stylistic influences were always a part of inspiration and as the kids would attempt impressing those girls, they might end up choosing a better wardrobe, and showing signs of creativity. Where they faltered were, when they asked for those notebooks and copied the content of the borrowed notebooks, word to word and got green stars from their teachers for submitting their home works on time.
Probably it was the error in teaching methodologies, or the pressure of deadlines, or the way we were brought up, but that is not the point of discussion here right now. The point is when they used to copy they read the content and wrote at-least in their notebooks, therefore when their teachers asked the content on page 5 they would raise hands and answer.

But as those kids grew up, and they became we, also, the computer became smarter as we did and that inherent intension of scoring green stars turned into a desire of getting rid of a task, that we feel isn’t credible enough, and hence should be over as soon as possible, sometimes it could be extracting appreciation from a client or a manager. The inspiration of doing right and doing it all by ourselves, was taken over by paired keystrokes, ctrl+c and ctrl+v, keystrokes for Copying and Pasting, the CP technology.

While those of the smarter kids, used to read and re-work it, would later on become the creative ones as inspiration would lead to motivation and motivation would lead to solving the problem, reworking would help in exploring leading to knowledge and thus solving the same problem in a different way, reinventing technology and thus ending up being more successful.

Rest of us chose routines, we accept tasks, out of our disgust and because there is no way out, and because we earn through it, we google, even the nature of it, find an approximate solution, without even considering its consequences, we put it in our PPTs, present it, then if there is a criticism, we simply say we didn’t think about it, and then we google something else, we present it and after multiple iterations of ideas and routines and discussions we do find a solution to the problem, but all that stays with us is, that answers can be googled, assignments can be submitted, exams can be cleared yet nothing can be really understood.

Thus we don’t discover anything new, in our lives, we simply distribute anguish, we are tired of routines, and then we unload it on our future generations.
And then we complain,life, is so boring.

Round The Crossroads

Youngsters can’t be adjudged rowdy, loud, careless and disturbing because it is not true. Human beings are inherently violent. The point is whenever they are in a situation and that too if there are a bunch of them, they become rowdy, and that inherent violence, slightly comes out.

People don’t talk sense these days, moreover they don’t speak the truth out of fear, that they might lose something important and that includes their future. With people, I don’t mean the grown-ups, because in India more than 50% of the people are less than 25 years of age. So when I say people it means youngsters. Youngsters are afraid they might lose something important, they are fearful of losing importance itself, in front of all those who surround them. So tough it becomes, to tolerate someone who is around, who seems to be important to you but you aren’t important to him, to gain that importance. But that doesn’t really happen when a boy is staying with a bunch of others. No one is important to anyone, and after a time, it is merely tolerating each other and everyone else.

Few boys do show serious inclination towards friendship being more important than female companionship, few of them want both, and then there are few, like I am who are oxymoronic in those terms, flickering between here and there and turning up nowhere. But these are the days, of fresh youngsters, finishing their college, and coming out and facing challenges of the real world, accepting jobs and trying hard to stay together. After one point of time, it becomes really tough for everyone to simply tolerate, but they can’t leave each other, because they are together hence they have a roof, they have food to eat and one of them has a car, his own, a 2nd hand Hyundai Accent and biggest reason of them being together, someone to talk to.

But female companionship is sometimes a headache, and most of the times it is tough to achieve, because first of all, youngsters are filled with energy to celebrate but lack inspiration to do something really big that would make the celebration worth it. If they can’t celebrate it is tough to have someone by their side, or they have to settle down with someone who is like them, ordinary, but no, boys need good looking girls, the more than ordinary ones and they are tough to find, because someone else at a former point of time would somehow manage to make that one fall into commitment with him, rest of the ordinaries would simply keep trying.
Even if, one of them is committed, it doesn’t really matter because, usually that one is fed up and needs a change or the existing girl is substantially foolish and handling her is just another burden or that girl doesn’t offer what guys usually want or the girl isn’t as good looking and by chance they are committed and he wants to get rid of her and hence a new girl friend.

So it usually ends up with a bunch of aimless guys, a car and a lonely weekend. Movies can be watched, but we watch so many movies that there is a saturation limit and most of the weekends offer nothing as qualitative, that one would go and buy a ticket out of curiosity. And then in a place like Chennai, discotheques are there but, not all guys enjoy it so it comes down to a shopping mall, beach, McDonalds and a drive.
It is then when we all decided that we will go to a shopping mall in the beginning, one of us said that he will drive all through, he wasn’t that confident with driving though, so the owner of the car decided to sit beside him, in the second front seat, and the rest of the two of us, occupied the seats behind. It is strange, that in the night, a city automatically looks good, probably this is because, one, in the most stationary moments of life anything that moves, is good, two, the road lights and lampposts and the way so smoothly they are left behind, it makes a scene to observe, three, we listen to music along with it and if the right track plays along with the right mood it enhances the overall impact.

And suddenly those who merely tolerate each other inside the boring rented flat, feel more energetic and talk about the city, about their futures, about girls, about movies, about music and the songs and the occasionally awful lyrics. It is so strange that that small place brings people closer.

The guy who was driving, wasn’t confident, occasionally he’d get impatient and a bit careless with the accelerator, already, the guy who owns it had complained his slight recklessness would make his heartbeat skip a couple of times and so would the 2 of us who were sitting in the rear seat.  Using the Google maps application, on one of the phones phone we had, we reached the shopping mall, the last few minutes were spent in abusing the traffic, it is awful near the citi center on weekends, so we can say traffic pretty much took away the last few moments of enjoyment of the drive. We reached there, went inside, those who wanted to shop, shopped, I for one went inside Landmark, spent most of the time there or at the balconies, looking down at crowd coming in and going out, once shopping was done, we went to the top floor and had our burgers, nothing memorable happened there.
Then it was fixed, that we would spend some time at a beach, citi centre is next to a beach but that is fairly dirty so we decided that we would go somewhere else. On Google maps we locked in “Golden Beach” and embarked on our journey away from boredom to an unknown beach. It was 9 in the evening by then.

The problem with the city is, one, they are making Metro Railways, so it is slightly tough to drive, as few roads are turned into one-ways, and you have to take many U-turns, so the guys in front, were navigating and making ways and we at behind were simply enjoying, hence I didn’t really understand what was going on until really something stupid happened. The guy on the driver seat, the not so confident one, had told clearly that at least 5 minutes before a turn, he should be informed or he would not be able to take it and we would have to go up a long way and then come back for it.

Obviously that didn’t happen, the guy, playing with the Google maps kept saying straight, there was some connection problem and the phone didn’t update the position, the blue dot indicating our location didn’t move, and he failed to realize it. We went straight for 10 kilometers, when Google map notified connection problem and map had to update the data, once updated, we realized that we have come 6 KMs from a left turn and to go back we had to take a U-Turn in front of us, and that was a flyover, so we took that flyover and we realized that we had to take a U-Turn but we didn’t have to climb up the flyover, the flyover led us somewhere else from there we waited Google map to update, which showed that we are now 15 KMs away, so we followed it, took turns and wrong turns and then asked people then again checked with the map, and suddenly we saw a Lacoste store, and then we thought we have seen this before, and we went straight to realize that we ended back at the citi centre.

We took a sigh of relief, that we are not lost, now we were more careful this time, we planned it which way to go. Once again, it was obvious that we are going to make a fool of ourselves. We knew that we have to get to the OMR, Velachery, Guindy interconnected roads, not only because it will lead us to Golden Beach but also because we knew that area and we didn’t need Google maps. So we had to reach there, and we started off, we had already wasted 40-50 minutes and a chunk of fuel. So we opened once again, the path of journey from boredom to the golden beach. We started off, went straight, a flyover came, this was a different one, we crossed it, we went straight, and there was a crossroad, now we had to take a left, but because our friend was a bit impatient and drove right into the first lane and reached a traffic signal where we had to wait and then we realized, what wrong we had done, now, slowly as the traffic jam was resolving, our friend started to shift into the other lanes, he managed it, after, a couple of troubles and slangs from others who were behind us and came forward, that we didn’t understand what they said, as we can’t understand Tamil, and we had our left at that crossroads, and now at another one, we had to take a right. But before that for 6-7 KMs we had a straight drive, again it was a pleasure, on our music player, “Subah Hone Na de” from Desi boys was about to explode our car’s speakers and our eardrums and the guys in front seats were shouting that song at the top of their voices, doing so we reached another traffic signal, and while we were shouting, also, we were attracting the traffic’s attention towards us, and trust me, we sing really bad. A girl inside an auto rickshaw waiting next to us had a look at the guy’s, who was driving, face and left a smug smile, which gave him more confidence, who grinned at the road and the Alto in front of us, and we started teasing him because of his nervousness that he was sweating and looked funny, taking off that grin from his face, and that traffic signal turned green and we moved on, but once again we failed to realize that we had to take a right from there, instead we went straight and this happened many times later and we missed many turns on those crossroads, but slowly familiar places appeared and we realized we have reached Velachery and now all we had to do was drive towards Thiruvanmiyur, and we will have a right that will be OMR and we knew that drive very well.

We somehow managed to reach OMR, now Google Maps couldn’t help us, because we were low on battery already and soon the phone turned off. We were all on our own, now. But we were and we are familiar with that road. Almost all Software and few electrical, chemical and other engineering and management companies in Chennai, are here on this route. We were riding, singing and shouting, occasionally we would simply sit and see outside windows as lampposts passed by in all this the guy who was driving lost track and almost drove us upon the divider nearby the tollbooth, but we had noticed him and we alerted him, he got more nervous and more oriented towards hitting the divider.

But one thing he did well was he’d slowed down once we’d alerted him, so in good time we managed it we bought the ticket and went on. Suddenly his phone started ringing. I had his phone. I told him that his dad was calling. Now, because he wasn’t confident, apart from us his dad knew that as well, so we can’t pick up the phone tell his dad that he’s driving, so we waited, allowed the father to complete the call let him know that his son missed his call. Then stopped by and inside the car, we closed all the windows, turned on the A/c and then he told his father he went to the wash, explained how nothing big was happening in life, it was just going on and how he was only 23, too young to discuss about marriage and future. He finished his conversation, and asked someone else to drive, so the guy sitting with me behind took the steering wheel.

We went singing and talking about GRE and higher studies abroad and Public Sector Jobs and how PSUs now accept GATE scores only and offer a better life and how I want to become a film maker and then again singing and shouting. It is so strange that we, in those moments could maximize the fun and most of the times we were simply shouting and shaking and cracking stupid jokes and using words never found in the worst of the dictionaries, probably that’s why, us youngsters are like that. We simply shout or fight or laugh or speak loudly, to suppress the fear of the failure future might conceal and to maximize the fun of the moment and forget everything else, and outsiders, for example neighbors in a society, simply label them as rowdy, loud, careless etc.

That evening we were late, quite late, it was 10:30 in the night and we were tired, we could not find the Golden Beach and so we returned back. Once we were back, we were awake till 2:00 or 2:30 AM, but we didn’t talk, we were mostly updating our statuses on Facebook or commenting or sharing memes and liking them and stuff similar to that, or watching movies, or tweeting but we were pretty much to ourselves and back to normal routines.

But that evening, we did talk, we did enjoy and that, when most of the time we were simply riding, dodging turns, round the crossroads.

Change

Change is such a subjective term. People want society to change, society wants culture to change, culture wants mentality to change, girls want boys to change and boys want girls to change, wives want husbands to change, husbands want to change wives, journalists want news to change, politicians want government to change and something wants something else to change or someone wants someone else to change and so on and on and on.

Talking about change is an utter wastage of time, because all what we want is to stay the same but we want everything else to change according to us, but again the problem is we would get used to that change and ultimately we will need a new change. In these modern times we need a lot of changes every day because lives are so dynamic. One of the many things amongst them is monetary change, and no, I am not talking about returning Cadbury éclairs in place of 1Re or 2Rs change, but what I am talking about is our frustration against our salaries and we want it to change, to greater values.

But even monetary change is not my problem, my problem is the change itself which is desired and assured, many times the change does occur but in an unwanted manner that completely changes our lives. We want so much to change, but what we really don’t change is ourselves because we have always loved ourselves, so changing ourselves would mean changing according to the world and that would mean hurting our own ego, so we are not going to change ourselves and we stress so hard on changing others, that had we put in that much effort in changing ourselves there would be an immediate immense change in everything around us.

But then we do change. Sometimes we change the truth, for a bitter, hollow satisfaction, sometimes we change ourselves temporarily, to impress someone, because that someone might bring in a happy change, or sometimes we simply change to change someone with someone new in our lives. The problem is, for everything genuine we change something genuine to such an extent that it loses genuineness  and that genuine something or someone is genuinely changed or we change ourselves according to something flashy and hollow and by the by losing our own genuineness and then we are genuinely changed.

So once again because change is important, it’s better that we realize what kind of a change is required and then change accordingly, instead of changing someone else and thinking that he has changed from someone to someone else we have to realize our thinking has changed and nothing else, if it is right then it needs to be supported or otherwise, it needs to, well you know it, change.

But then because change to change genuine mentality to something really changed from originally changed thoughts and mentalities, it is better that to think first and then change because the change will be a successful change only when the way of our thinking changes otherwise as we change we might change into someone really changed and then we look at us and say, wow, we have changed! And then everyone around us will say, hey, you really changed, and then you regret what you have changed into. But we are humans and we won’t change because we are selfish and lazy and that will never change and ultimately nothing will change. This is too much and we deserve a topic change.

Do we deserve entertainment

The problem is that Indian youth is so much into talking and day dreaming that most of the sensible form of entertainment really doesn’t matter. This, I realized, when I was watching “Midnight in Paris” few days ago, and I was thinking about it yesterday. More than 40% of the cultural references in the movie I couldn’t identify, there were film makers, painters, writers (the most easily identifiable ones) and others. It is a known fact that now even 10^th class students have a facebook account, a smart phone with internet access and SMS packs they can use to send multiple messages to their friends.

Now here lies my fear, pop culture and true entertainment is dying. The problem with facebook status updates and SMS packs is enabling a gossip function. Either you say something that enables gossip or you do something that is widely shared across the internet media, and from everyone in your class to your teacher might be aware of possible stupidity you have done.

Us Indian youngsters, as I have written earlier in different blogposts, are cowards, we might have the ability to be creative or generate ideas unusual in nature but the sheer monotony, and as Hungarian film maker Bela Tarr would say “Burden of human life” takes it from them. Success at its core deserves making an idea that can, in my harsh words, make a fool out of the others. But that needs confidence and ability to evaluate one’s own abilities and find the right path of success. But since we are all cowards we don’t want to lose the easiness in life because fulfilling dreams would mean hard work and standard lives here, are dreamless, impersonal and least passionate that stepping out of the house to go out and fight would and allow motivation to come into being.

The fact is we don’t really go out of the houses, meet people, listen to a lot of music, read books, but we do come to office, we gossip about our love lives and colleagues and bosses, ignore sentiments,  we go back to our houses, we are bored by our roommates or soul mates (whatever applicable) and need something terrifically new and that most of the times turns out to be a an affair or in other terms someone else’s affair that could be talked about or worst of them all someone else, in person, who could be talked about.

There are so many other things, one of my personal favorites being food, which can be explored. But no, restaurants and places like this most of the times turn out to be another reason where people can be talked by those who are sitting across the dining table and most of the times the worst part, that attacks viscerally and people don’t necessarily want it to happen subconsciously is dinner or lunch because that would mark the end of gossip and hence entertainment when that evening’s entertainment was meant to be good food. Talking about food, how many of you know that there is a nationwide chain named as “Kobe’s” who serve pretty good sizzlers, though it is costly and one platter may not be fulfilling, but it is good indeed.
Perhaps that is my agony, in our fairy tales where we fall in love so that we become a centre of attraction, be entertained by being gossiped about, or after updating a status and hoping that to be liked by a 100 friends or even having 2487 friends in our friend list with most of them being girls who themselves tend to show off their sympathetic sides and in an attempt to find their pity perhaps we lose the need of real entertainment. Many of us, I see return from offices and open their facebook accounts spent 2 to 3 hours, if they would watch a film, or may be write something or may be draw, listen to music for that much of time, or read a book perhaps gossips would be more entertaining, talks would be more productive and ultimately, may be, many of us find, what we have to do and what we should.

But that has not happened and unfortunately we have too much to talk, that I see, instead of sleeping, whole nights are spent in talking about people from college, from families, mutual friends, bad teachers, laughing and crying over what has happened or who did what and when and ultimately being emotionally exhausted and we accept it as it is. The problem here is we have lost much of the taste, let it be food, music, art or cinema and most of the times we end up liking either that is shallow and superficial and ignore the richness and goodness or the pleasure of something really delightful. Most of us don’t even watch animation films like “The Secret of Kells”, “Ponyo” and “The Iron Giant”, have you heard about them? But when I say “The Iron giant” was made by the same guy who directed MI: 4, and ask have you seen MI: 4, everyone will raise hands.

Because we want to prove it to others how important we are to others and gossip about others or let others do it about us and our love lives are troubled and we need sympathy from the opposite gender, because we want to hurt others because we think, they were mean when they left us when we were most important to them, and most of our lives are wasted in thinking about it, basically we know it subconsciously, that we have taken too many short cuts in our lives to be like this and may be will go unnoticed for the rest of our lives and hence we do all this. Perhaps, that is the reason we don’t deserve entertainment, but as far as getting likes and comments on our status updates are concerned, yes we sure deserve that.